To the woman who loved him before me

Sometimes something happens in life that makes it time to post this poem again that I wrote three years ago. 💁🏻‍♀️Also don’t @ me without reading the whole thing. 🌞
–
To the woman who loved him before me.
I see you
liking every picture
that still carries the
ghost of him.
No matter if it’s
himself or his family
or something he created
and how you carefully tiptoe
around everything that wears
a taste, a mention, a vision
of me.
My little eye spies
how even after five
(or is it six)
years you still obsess
and obsess over him
and now over me too,
even though you fall asleep
in the arms of your own
husband every night.

Does he know
how your mind wanders
and your hands too
From my throat
to your keyboard

Does he know
that he is not
the husband you are
thinking about
but that you are
emailing mine
‘Hey, long time’

My god, how I must
haunt you for you to
make such desperate,
obvious attempts to
get him to notice you.
I want to hate you
for constantly trying
to crawl back into his life.
Not in full but with a memory,
a reminder, that you were
once there too.

Yes, I could tell you many things
about the way he whispers to me at night, about his confessions
that he has never been
this happy before.

But the truth is, if he would
leave me the way he left you
I would go a little crazy too.
I would obsess for all the years
to come if there was something
I could have done different,
done more. Your grief is one
I never hope to feel.

So instead, let me thank you
for all you have done. For
taking care of him in the years
I wasn’t yet there to hold.
For teaching him,
for helping him grow.
None of us wants to be reminded
of past lovers, yet none of us
would be here without them.

You loved him and cared for him
now please, allow me to do the same too.
Without the ghost of you.

Art and caption by: @danica.gim

M|i|nd Me

“I haven’t met all of me yet.

(what a lovely and terrifying thought all at the same time).”
—Unknown

Tongue (two) Tied | Note to Self

“We can make detours with our minds but we can’t distract the truth from our hearts.” – Nikki Rowe

*artwork via Xaviera Lopez

Mastering Myself | Note to Self

Ever tried searching for something you already found? That’s what my 20s have been like. You look for it in others. You look for it in places. You look for it in song and prose and purpose. But the truth is; it was never lost. 

Reverence | This Month I Will…

This month I will: 

Get more sun on my body. Listen with veracity. Flourish the path. Stay focused. Dream more. Empower my choices. Holistically allow my choices empower me.

Spotl(i)ght

 

 

On being discovered

Wouldn’t that be great?

Great if you could share all your wisdom on a popular podcast, or be featured on Shark Tank? Great if you had a powerful agent or bureau or publisher? Great if you could get admitted to an internship program that would lead to a well-attended gig on the main stage? Great if the CEO figured out just how committed you are and invited you to her office?

The thing about being discovered is that in addition to being fabulous, it’s incredibly rare. Because few people have the time or energy to go hunting for something that might not be there.

The alternative?

To be sought out.

Instead of hoping that people will find you, the alternative is to become the sort of person these people will go looking for.

This is difficult, of course, because it means you have to create work that might not work. That you have to lean out of the boat and invest in making something that’s remarkable. That you have to be generous when you feel like being selfish.

Difficult because there’s no red carpet, no due dates and no manual.

But that’s okay, because your work is worth it.

– Seth Godin

Digging Deep | #AdviceToWriters

Writing Is Hard for Every Last One of Us

Writing is hard for every last one of us…. Coal mining is harder. Do you think miners stand around all day talking about how hard it is to mine for coal? They do not. They simply dig.

CHERYL STRAYED

#AdviceToWriters

 

Des|i|re

“An honorable human relationship … in which two people have the right to use the word ‘love’, is a process, delicate, violent, often terrifying to both persons involved, a process of refining the truths they can tell each other.” – Adrienne Rich

Further reading:

Brain Pickings – Alain De Botton / The Course of Love

Labours of Love

Emotional labor

That’s the labor most of us do now. The work of doing what we don’t necessarily feel like doing, the work of being a professional, the work of engaging with others in a way that leads to the best long-term outcome.

The emotional labor of listening when we’d rather yell.

The emotional labor of working with someone instead of firing them.

The emotional labor of seeking out facts and insights that we don’t (yet) agree with.

The emotional labor of being prepared.

Of course it’s difficult. That’s precisely why it’s valuable. Sometimes, knowing that it’s our job—the way we create value—helps us pause a second and decide to do the difficult work.

Almost no one gets hired to eat a slice of chocolate cake.

– Seth Godin

Under|stated

“Not everything you do needs to be seen, heard or discussed.”
— Miles Pierré #JustSaying

artwork by Frédéric Forest

via The Artidote